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Marriage Confessional

 

A Marriage Confessional is actually an assist. It can handle difficulties in a marriage and restore ARC in the relationship. It is done by a Class 2 auditor in session.

Both spouses are in the auditing room at the same time. One spouse is on the Meter as a pc; the other spouse sits next to the auditor and hears the confession as it is mainly directed at her (see illustration). The spouses will in turn be run on the confessional process with the other spouse present and will thus get off their Overts and Withholds on each other in a safe environment.

 

In this illustration the
  husband is on the cans, 
the wife is listening to
his confession. The
spouses take turns on
the cans until they
have come clean
with each other.

 

Here are the steps:

  1. Both spouses have of have an understanding of auditing. If any of them are new to the activity, this person has to be taken through the Basic definitions of auditing so he/she knows what is going on.

  2. Explain that the Confessional will be done under Auditors Code, including be kept confidential. The spouse listening in has to understand, that she is not to interrupt or comment during the auditing of the spouse. (If it should happen anyway, see it as an origination and handle with ARC).

  3. Explain how you will go about doing the action and what is expected of each.

  4. Explain, when you have finished the session, you will take both to the Examiner, where they will be checked on the Meter and can make a statement. Both spouses are given an Exam.

  5. Put the one spouse on the Meter (we use husband in the explanation). Set the sensitivity for this pc per Meter drills and check that he is sessionable.

  6. Clear the words, 'Moral code', 'Overt act' and 'Withhold' thoroughly.

  7. Clear the commands with him per Clearing Commands. Make sure he has a good grip of 'Done' (Overts) and 'Withheld' (Withholds) in the commands.

  8. The Commands are:

    (1)  What have you done to (spouse's name)?
    (2)  What have you withheld from (spouse's name)?

  9. Run the process alternately (1,2,1,2) until the pc has an F/N cognition and VGI.

  10. Indicate the F/N and tell him, that this step is complete and it is now the wife's turn to hold the cans.

  11. You put the wife on the cans. You keep separate worksheets for the two so it can be filed in their respective pc folders.

  12. You now clear the commands with her as above. The husband is now sitting next to the auditor and listening to her confession.

  13. The auditor does the process on the wife to F/N, cog and VGI's. Then indicates the F/N and tells her this step is now complete on her.

  14. When the auditor ends the session for the day or for a meal break, both spouses are taken to Examiner and in turn given an Exam (needle, statement).

  15. The auditor keeps two separate reports for the spouses and keep their auditing in their folder. He does however make one set of photo copies and include the copy in the spouse's folder. This is so the C/S can see the whole session in context by looking in one folder at the time. (Especially important for later reviews of the auditing, if needed).

  16. The next session would be to put the husband on the cans again and run some more of the process to a new cog, F/N, VGI's is reached.

  17. The spouses are run in turn until the EP of the confessional is reached.

End Phenomena of the Action

The action is continued until the TA has gone flat on both spouses. When the process no longer produces TA it is flat by TA. Each turn, including the last one, should go to F/N, cog, VGI's. If overrun beyond going flat by TA the EP should be rehabbed by rehab procedure.
The spouses have come clean in their relationship and they can now start to rebuild their marriage.

If they are both happy about the session or sessions they can attest being complete on the assist.

With communication 
  restored they can now  
start to rebuild their 
marriage.

Repairs

Ordinary upsets or problems in this action are usually due to Missed Withholds and are handled by simply continuing the process or pull the Missed Withholds. If the action should get into serious trouble and the pc refuses to go on, the action is repaired with a Confessional Repair List (LCRE).

This action would be done on the pc without the spouse being present. If the repair brings up additional Overts and Withholds on the spouse, these have to be revealed. This is simply done by telling them to the spouse at the beginning of the next session where they are both present.

Before the auditor resorts to a repair list he should make sure, that it is otherwise an impasse. It is not unusual for both spouses to be emotional and express being upset with the other. The first rule is: "Get the pc through it". Here it means it will usually resolve with using good TR-4  and then continue the process. TR-4 may include addressing both parties as you are really auditing their marriage and not just one pc.  Only if TR-4 and continue proves to be unworkable would the auditor use a repair list.


Notes on a full marriage counseling program:
From Clearbird's publication Ethics and Auditing. A couple that is having a rough time should have their Admin Scale sorted out. This is a natural part of marriage counseling. First the couple would sort out ethical issues, including coming clean with each other by doing write-ups of their Overts and Withholds on the spouse. They would do the Lower Conditions related to their marriage. Such a program would also include the couple doing TRs (communication drills, TR 0-4) with each other. When they can rationally communicate with each other they would be seated with a counselor and work out an Admin Scale for their marriage.

From Clearbird's 'Ethics and Auditing'. Chapter: Admin Scales - Examples.
Note, that having an auditor do the Marriage Confessional is superior to having the spouses doing an O/W write-up on their own, of course.

 


FLAT BY TA, the test of "flat" is, the TA moving only one-quarter to one-eighth of a division up or down in twenty minutes of auditing; not cumulative movement such as "the TA moves 1/16th twice so that's 1/8th of a division-" This is wrong. If it moves from 2.25 to 2.50 to 2.25 two or three times in twenty minutes, this is called flat and has moved only one-quarter of a TA division. This is right.

 

 

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